"You're Not Alone!"

Adults with ADHD may be more vulnerable to gaslighting due to issues with self-esteem, difficulty with past relationships, and feelings of guilt and shame. Know that there is hope, and you can rebuild your life after living with gaslighting for months or even years.

On good days, my acting skills are worthy of an Oscar. But on bad days, my #ADHD pushes me into a dark, quiet personal world that few know exists. Here are 10 circumstances in which I feel overwhelmingly lost, alone, or confused — and no one else has a clue. @jsilny

Many of us feel we're living a charade. We construct intricate facades designed to hide the personality traits that cause us the most shame, then spend our days fearing someone will expose us as a fraud. There is a better, more authentic way to live. Read on for advice.

"Few jerks ever put in as much work as people with ADHD do to recognize and fight the times they let themselves and the people around them down."

“I was overwhelmed with relief to finally know that I’m not a terrible, lazy selfish, person full of excuses. All my troubles were components of my undiagnosed ADHD, anxiety, and mood disorder. But I was also overwhelmed with sadness and confusion because I could no longer decipher ‘me’ from my ‘disorders.’”

“If you are fat with ADHD, the mirror that society holds up to you reinforces all of your worst suspicions about yourself. Self-perceptions of being ‘lazy’ or ‘careless’ collide with emotional hypersensitivity when you are fat shamed. Then, of course, there is the rejection sensitive dysphoria that delivers a double dose of shame and self-loathing.”

“Being repeatedly misunderstood causes people with ADHD to deeply misunderstand themselves and their situations. Feeling deficient and mistrusting yourself from an early age makes it extraordinarily difficult to properly evaluate yourself as an adult. These misunderstandings can have rough consequences, so what can we do about it?”

“There’s no denying that those of us with ADHD were made different. We tend to be more generous, more loving, more funny, more creative, and more entrepreneurial. The problem, it turns out, is not within our own selves. The problem is with the society we were born into.”

“If most of your time is spent just trying to fit in and perform at school, grades become intertwined with ego. If you fail, you’re a failure; if you succeed, you have purpose and meaning. It’s extremely frustrating to not be able to ‘do life’ efficiently, and it wears away on even the strongest of hearts with the most support.”

Unconditional love from a furry friend (or a not-so-furry one) can do wonders for a child's self-esteem and peace of mind. If your child has ADHD, consider adopting a pet — our readers praise their abilities to ease their children to sleep and improve their sense of responsibility.

“For many people with ADHD, shame arises from the repeated failure to meet expectations from parents, teachers, friends, bosses, and the world.” Here, Dr. William Dodson explains how to shed that emotional burden.

I have a brain difference, and I'm not ashamed. I’d rather be known for what I actually am — as the woman with ADHD, fidget spinner and all — than as the dumb blonde of my childhood.

“You are going to do amazing things because you are different. Don’t let something you can’t change — be it an ADHD characteristic or a global pandemic — keep you from accomplishing great things just as you are. I didn’t let it stop me from writing two books in high school.”

Ever since I was a child, the sound of people chewing has filled me with a desperate rage. Ditto putting on makeup. And please don't even think of hugging me. Did you think you were the only one with these hypersensitive ADHD quirks? You are not alone, you wonderfully strange human. Let's not hug it out.

When I started researching ADHD, all of my “differences” finally made sense. My quirks were part of my brain chemistry. I was done contorting myself to fit into a neurotypical world…until I realized that life is smoothest when we all make concessions in the name of harmony.

When people who look at me differently, talk down to me, or judge me because of “my illness” (as some call ADHD), I push back.