So I was a year clean. A fucking year. And now I'm swallowing pills again. What's wrong with me, why can't I just be normal. Why do I have to be like this. Why do I have to be me. Stupid addictions. This is why I hate summer breaks. I'm acting like there's nothing going on again. I lost everyone. Fake smile. Everything's just starting again, like it did a year ago. But this time without people who care. Im so done. I don't even care about anything anymore. Crying through the night again I…

Everything I ever do is wrong. Just when I think I have my life figured out, it all goes swirling down the drain again. please, please, just let me die, now

No one. They say I need to eat. They try to make me. But I can't. I can't eat. I only have hip and rib bones. Still a fatass...

quote Black and White life text depressed lonely pain hurt alone b&w live i love you hurts hard forever young phrase depression--kills

personal post // i hate myself so much tonight. my boyfriend is on his way home and i haven't seen him in 8 days & i just keep saying stupid fucking things and fucking everything up & i just want to sleep forever because he deserves so much better than my stupid pathetic idiotic self. fuck fuck fuck why can't i just be normal

personal post // i hate myself so much tonight. my boyfriend is on his way home and i haven't seen him in 8 days & i just keep saying stupid fucking things and fucking everything up & i just want to sleep forever because he deserves so much better than my stupid pathetic idiotic self. fuck fuck fuck why can't i just be normal

I only hate feeling numb when I forget to respond to something like a normal person would. Something that would outrage others would cause me to say "What did you expect?" Human nature is a beast.

Or rather I started to feel so much that I wanted to feel nothing. (Rarely does it go numb. Everything just starts to make me go emotionally crazy.

Its okay to wait I guess but when you're as impatient as I am its not cool. God I hate waiting but no matter what a person has to wait for everything no matter what it is.. Great health&awesome figure again -stupid surgeries- and *dun dun dun* .. Ryan.. The only man I love w/my Heart&Soul.. sheesh i've never felt this way&he's gone but he can cure me&make me whole again, like I can with him. "I love you baby" U_U .. I misses all that.. I misses all of that.. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Its okay to wait I guess but when you're as impatient as I am its not cool. God I hate waiting but no matter what a person has to wait for everything no matter what it is. Great health&awesome figure again -stupid surgeries- and *dun dun dun* .

i read something recently about depressive symptoms masking ungrieved grief.

Severe depressive symptoms from masking ungrieved grief! Depression Grief Sadness Suicidal overwhelmed alone hopeless anxiety insomnia heartbroken broken heart suicide

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