I get it now he's gone from my life for good. He killed me. how I survived for so long being treated like that I'll never know. I'll never give my heart to another man anything like him again fact! I guess u live and learn.
Don't beat yourself up for not being able to realize who he really was from the beginning. At one time or another we all fall victim to an illusion. Stay true to who you are and what you truly want and things will fall into place.