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My whole life is a lie

MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE!I totally thought it meant it didn't hurt if it got into my eyes.(which it did hurt, it burned like the fires of mount doom)>> I thought it meant it didn't hurt ur eyes 😭

Bandit plate

me when i could still steal enough to survive on from my parents plate

How to school someone when they make a sexist joke. This is great... Turn their "joke" into an opportunity to educate them about sexism, or just roast them for a similar result.

" Life hack: when someone makes a racist/sexist joke, say, with all seriousness, "I don't get it. Can you explain it." Then watch them crash and burn.

I'm am laughing wayyy too hard right now...

I am looking that up, because if it's true, well that's just too awesome. <<< hoi im Welsh and for a matter of fact, that is true :D popty-ping is a slang word for microwave, have a nice day :)

WOLVERCREAM

Thing is, I'm so like this. I did spike my hair like wolverine though! This guy is genius ha so funny ;

The most genius/evil and funniest thing. Imagine if Benedict or Tom blurted this out...the world would explode with the force that is the "fangirl"

26 Unexpected Places To Find Satan

EVIL --- ^ "Just calm down a second there, satan" lol XD cruel but awesome.

Omg I laughed so hard my friend asked I was On drugs

yaknow the sounds of fireworks that you can feel like inside your body bc it's that *boom* noise? Yea that's like my favorite feeling tbh { }

It's true... Anne Hathaway hath a Will...iam Shakespeare

If Anne hath a will, Anne Hathaway. Moreover, Anne Hathaway had a Will(iam Shakespeare). History puns are hys-torical<<< and with the will. she only got a bed when Shakespeare died

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I want this to happen now, but only if it's David Tennant, Benedict Cumberbatch, Misha Collins, or Matt Smith. <-- Um Tom Hiddleston or David Tennant or Skander Keynes

I Can Hear You! - Damn! LOL

This would definitely be me, if I had a computer in my room. Unfortunately, my mom makes us keep it in the living room. It USED to be in my room, but then mom got all nostalgic and wanted me to 'communicate' and be 'social'.

Ahahahahaha- wait- second coming of Christ? My first thought is "Dammit Satan, what the hell? I will not carry the anti-Christ!

That’s a cute theory

MelodyJinx Luna: Does this mean that when the news talks about a percentage of an oncoming storm, its just a prediction of a ship war and if it happens some angel from the other fandom decided it was OK to cross THAT line. Thus its a ship war

Okay I'm actually stressed about mind readers

"If you accidentally bite into plastic fruit, commit. Eat the whole thing" im laughing so hard im in tears xD

Yepp

The grill isn't gonna light itself! What are you doing out of the garage? Go fix my car. Go chop some lumber.

Tumblr self-esteem

These are all pretty freaking awesome. I love how everyone on tumble is getting really smooth lately.

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