Explore Vintage Funny Quotes and more!


When I have a bad day I like to watch I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant to remind myself it could be worse. I could be too dumb to know I have a human growing inside me.

To the Window or Wall

To the window To the wall To the sweat drop down my balls To all these bitches crawl To all skeet skeet motherfucker All skeet skeet god damn To all skeet skeet motherfucker All skeet skeet god damn (GOT DAMN)

I hate when it's dark and my brain is like, "Hey, you know what? We haven't thought about in a while? Monsters!" And then, against all wishes, your brain starts an all-star review of every horror story you've ever read or film you've ever seen. Bring on the night light! :-)

I did this the other weekend.except replace "monsters" with "zombies." Someone was shooting off and I thought, "What if those are rifles? What if it's zombies?" This is why I choose not to watch scary movies! :) I've got "scary" covered.

Name your wifi network FBI Surveillance Van & freak out the neighbors

Have fun with your neighbors or drive-by internet users by changing your wireless network to "FBI Surveillance Van". Of course, those would be the dumbest FBI agents in the world, but it may still make your neighbors stop and think.

I don't know why, but this made me think of @Sumer Smith!

All this energy!

I poured red bull redbull, in my coffee this morning, I can SEE SOUNDS now, I can't stop laughing

every morning

We have such a strange relationship with our beds and pillows. A night: But I don't want to spend time with you bed! In the morning: I want to spend the rest of my life here, with you, while I sleep.

Two weeks before winter break relaxation.  Do your best, Rams!

“Here's how (who resemble polar bears) do exam. Don't be a polar bear. At least during exam time.

if looks could kill, you'd be dead. If thoughts could kill, you'd be reborn 600 times already.

i may look calm but . I may look calm, but in my head We killed you three times. Your name isn't leatseatburgers i may look calm but I in my head We killed you three times Your name isn't leatseatburgers

All of my pins are funny sayings and/or pictures...

For me this is just a place that I'll try and put all the things that enjoy, be it quotes, pictures, thoughts, or things.

Harry Potter & Dementors What a great analogy!

Morning coffee (39 photos)

Periods Are Like Dementors. They make you feel as if all the happiness is gone from the world and the cure is chocolate.--I read this as "people" are like dementors. And yet, it's still entirely accurate.