Better be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie! And the truth is: the Novus Ordo Sect IS NOT THE CATHOLIC CHURCH! It's better to be outside than to be an accomplice of their heresies and misdeeds!
The best people possess a feeling for beauty, the courage to take risks, the discipline to tell the truth, the capacity for sacrifice ironically their virtues make them vulnerable the are often wounded sometimes destroyed, ernest hemmingway
Trust me, I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one will hear you and waiting for everyone to fall asleep so you can fall apart. For everyting to hurt so bad you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.
Feeling unsure and lost is part of your path. Dont avoid it. See what those feelings are showing you and use it. Take a breath. You'll be okay. Even if you don't feel okay all the time. This too shall pass. Louis C.
And maybe, for now, a happy ending doesnt include a relationship. Maybe it's you, on your own picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on.